Tifhunmil is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy weasel.

Tifhunmil created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifhunmil, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tifhunmil, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tifhunmil's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tifhunmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near voles while wearing red corsets and balancing four copper spheres on your chest.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always wear green.

5. Fast once a month.