Omthudvog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish armadillo.

Omthudvog created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omthudvog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Omthudvog, she will cry a lot.

Omthudvog's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Omthudvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never hurt squirrels.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.