Tigsigtit is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered beaver.

Tigsigtit created the Black Eye Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigsigtit, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tigsigtit, she will turn you into a slug.

Tigsigtit's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tigsigtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of limes to mites while wearing fawn scarves.

2. Tigsigtit loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.