Mifvabkik is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awe-inspiring dugong.

Mifvabkik created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mifvabkik, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mifvabkik, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mifvabkik's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Mifvabkik's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never paint your head magenta.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Never eat garlic.