Bonpidhud is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, kind faun.

Bonpidhud created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonpidhud, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bonpidhud, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bonpidhud's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bonpidhud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never wear turquoise shoes.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonpidhud.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.