Yarpsuglik is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid wasp.

Yarpsuglik created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpsuglik, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarpsuglik, it will turn you into a puffin.

Yarpsuglik's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yarpsuglik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.