Gidwabjam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable turtle.

Gidwabjam created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Gidwabjam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gidwabjam, she will torture you forever.

Gidwabjam's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gidwabjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not kill nematodes.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gidwabjam on top of all buildings.

5. You must never eat nuts.