Bendadken Loopragsad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, overgenerous tortoise.

Bendadken Loopragsad created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Bendadken Loopragsad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bendadken Loopragsad, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bendadken Loopragsad's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bendadken Loopragsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away from gray capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing red corsets.

5. Never hurt doves.