Ganvagab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, pitiless gnu.

Ganvagab created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganvagab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ganvagab, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ganvagab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Ganvagab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide from indigo sheep for they are unholy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Never mention doves.