Pintomced is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, intelligent deer.

Pintomced created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Pintomced, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pintomced, it will turn you into a hamster.

Pintomced's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Pintomced's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not covet oxen.