Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, slow beaver.

Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Always obey Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal's priests.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Xuctinstip Dudgebtantal loves monkeys, so they must be respected.