Gepcadkom is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain capybara.

Gepcadkom created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepcadkom, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gepcadkom, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gepcadkom's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gepcadkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Gepcadkom in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat bark.