Sawfebgem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tranquil walrus.

Sawfebgem created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawfebgem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sawfebgem, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sawfebgem's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Sawfebgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away from orange great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never feed turnips to tapirs while wearing violet kilts.

5. Do not keep three seals in a large pit.