Donlipnillwik is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, conceited bee.

Donlipnillwik created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Donlipnillwik, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Donlipnillwik, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Donlipnillwik's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Donlipnillwik's Holy Commandments

1. Put Donlipnillwik first in all things.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.