Lattarpbell Bannegpin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent jaguar.

Lattarpbell Bannegpin created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Lattarpbell Bannegpin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lattarpbell Bannegpin, he will turn you into a tree.

Lattarpbell Bannegpin's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Lattarpbell Bannegpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near pigs while wearing red shirts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your feet.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Lattarpbell Bannegpin on top of all buildings.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

5. Always help manatees in need.