Nurlistfat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, omniscient squid.

Nurlistfat created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlistfat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nurlistfat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Nurlistfat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nurlistfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near dogs while wearing pink shoes and balancing four gold spheres on your head.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.