Abbinpark is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic unicorn.

Abbinpark created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Abbinpark, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Abbinpark, it will ignore you.

Abbinpark's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Abbinpark's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Never think about gravity near mites while wearing fawn shirts and balancing five aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.