Moncisszan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered elephant.

Moncisszan created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Moncisszan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Moncisszan, he will make you grow a tail.

Moncisszan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Moncisszan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue ear rings.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.