Lopmangeb is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-knowing wyvern.

Lopmangeb created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopmangeb, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lopmangeb, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Lopmangeb's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Lopmangeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never talk about optics near voles while wearing yellow skirts and balancing five carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.