Nurtquartpogvidflapcar is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, strong guinea pig.

Nurtquartpogvidflapcar created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Nurtquartpogvidflapcar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurtquartpogvidflapcar, she will turn you into a hamster.

Nurtquartpogvidflapcar's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nurtquartpogvidflapcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Nurtquartpogvidflapcar loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.