Queegbadflat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, intelligent snake.

Queegbadflat created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegbadflat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Queegbadflat, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Queegbadflat's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Queegbadflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of beans to ants while wearing cyan stockings.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Always look after injured seals.

5. Never write about ultrasonics.