Tetticudlen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, proud coyote.

Tetticudlen created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tetticudlen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tetticudlen, he will remove you from existence.

Tetticudlen's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tetticudlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always help birds.