Yartmindon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, self-assured crocodile.

Yartmindon created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartmindon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yartmindon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yartmindon's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Yartmindon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet rats, for they are unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Worship no other gods but Yartmindon.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Always take life seriously.