Flankipcin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, slow lion.

Flankipcin created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flankipcin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flankipcin, he will boil you in a big pot.

Flankipcin's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Flankipcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about garlic.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Never paint your back blue.

5. Always help sick mice.