Besspibtofquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, moody gerbil.

Besspibtofquaf created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Besspibtofquaf, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Besspibtofquaf, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Besspibtofquaf's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Besspibtofquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not keep eight sharks in a large pit.

5. Respect your elders.