Loopnurlbug is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, competent narwhal.

Loopnurlbug created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopnurlbug, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Loopnurlbug, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Loopnurlbug's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Loopnurlbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about mites.