Kongilnak is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful penguin.

Kongilnak created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kongilnak, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kongilnak, he will turn you into a mouse.

Kongilnak's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Kongilnak's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kongilnak.

2. Put Kongilnak first in all things.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Kongilnak in the centre of the settlement.