Bapkimgomtap is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, astonishing mink.

Bapkimgomtap created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapkimgomtap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapkimgomtap, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bapkimgomtap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bapkimgomtap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never mention snails.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.