Jophomdim is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless bear.

Jophomdim created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jophomdim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jophomdim, it will be mildly annoyed.

Jophomdim's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jophomdim's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

4. Shrews are not to be trusted.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.