Vinyarlteen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate mongoose.

Vinyarlteen created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinyarlteen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vinyarlteen, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vinyarlteen's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vinyarlteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never feed lentils to tapirs while wearing skirts.

3. Vinyarlteen loves mice, so they must be respected.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vinyarlteen.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.