Gatpanstik Sab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish dingo.

Gatpanstik Sab created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatpanstik Sab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gatpanstik Sab, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gatpanstik Sab's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gatpanstik Sab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.