Witarppag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, moody zebra.

Witarppag created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Witarppag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Witarppag, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Witarppag's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Witarppag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.