Vanfithub is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, capable chinchilla.

Vanfithub created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanfithub, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vanfithub, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vanfithub's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vanfithub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. Run away if four tortoises approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always obey Vanfithub's priests.