Quillfenzig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, able dove.

Quillfenzig created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Quillfenzig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quillfenzig, he will turn you into a worm.

Quillfenzig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Quillfenzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven badgers in a large pit.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Quillfenzig loves ducks, so they must be respected.