Sogmappom is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, loving dugong.

Sogmappom created the Black Eye Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogmappom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sogmappom, he will boil you in a big pot.

Sogmappom's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Sogmappom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Hide if four porpoises approach from the west.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not keep seven snails in a large pit.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Sogmappom on top of all buildings.