Vanfabtin is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, happy weasel.

Vanfabtin created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Vanfabtin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vanfabtin, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vanfabtin's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Vanfabtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt doves.

2. Vanfabtin loves dogs, so they must be respected.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Never think about spacetime near mice while wearing indigo kilts and balancing four silver spheres on your neck.

5. Do not shave your legs.