Gamcingov is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, overgenerous seal.

Gamcingov created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Gamcingov, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gamcingov, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gamcingov's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gamcingov's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gamcingov.

2. Gamcingov loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Gamcingov loves sheep, so they must be respected.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.