Gedzimstig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, humane mongoose.

Gedzimstig created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedzimstig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gedzimstig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gedzimstig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gedzimstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Worship no other gods but Gedzimstig.