Teencathitgadtaggat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Teencathitgadtaggat created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teencathitgadtaggat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teencathitgadtaggat, he will turn you into a dog.

Teencathitgadtaggat's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Teencathitgadtaggat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.