Stragyartort is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omniscient newt.

Stragyartort created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragyartort, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stragyartort, he will remove you from existence.

Stragyartort's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Stragyartort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

4. You must pray to Stragyartort nine times a day.

5. Never look in ponds.