Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy mongoose.

Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Worship no other gods but Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Put Jabhimcabkad Yimkipvon first in all things.

5. Do not stand on grass.