Bifzimfomduncapjampid is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful deer.

Bifzimfomduncapjampid created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifzimfomduncapjampid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bifzimfomduncapjampid, he will turn you into a tree.

Bifzimfomduncapjampid's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bifzimfomduncapjampid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Always obey Bifzimfomduncapjampid's priests.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.