Watbess is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, capable tortoise.

Watbess created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watbess, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Watbess, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Watbess' most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Watbess' Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.