Venhogpog is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, amazing seal.

Venhogpog created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Venhogpog, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Venhogpog, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Venhogpog's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Venhogpog's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. You must love Venhogpog.

3. Worship no other gods but Venhogpog.

4. Never write about special relativity.

5. Do not dye your hair red.