Donhunpop is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, almighty badger.

Donhunpop created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Donhunpop, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Donhunpop, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Donhunpop's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Donhunpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill eagles.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near mites while wearing blue rings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.