Zakkikfomren Titbudlin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciless turtle.

Zakkikfomren Titbudlin created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakkikfomren Titbudlin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zakkikfomren Titbudlin, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zakkikfomren Titbudlin's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Zakkikfomren Titbudlin's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about gravity near ducks while wearing purple kilts and balancing four carbon spheres on your feet.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never hurt whales.