Panmaplag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, kind deer.

Panmaplag created matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panmaplag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Panmaplag, he will make you grow a tail.

Panmaplag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Panmaplag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about voles.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Panmaplag.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.