Stanquimzagbessflig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, able clam.

Stanquimzagbessflig created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanquimzagbessflig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stanquimzagbessflig, it will turn you into a frog.

Stanquimzagbessflig's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Stanquimzagbessflig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not eat peas.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never eat green fruit.