Lunzedkom is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, blissful penguin.

Lunzedkom created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunzedkom, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lunzedkom, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lunzedkom's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Lunzedkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lunzedkom.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Fast once a month.