Kapwipgat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omniscient walrus.

Kapwipgat created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapwipgat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kapwipgat, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kapwipgat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kapwipgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill nematodes.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Kapwipgat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.